feels like a famine
If we are completely honest with ourselves, in our Christian walk, we go through dry spells when it feels that the Spirit has left us (although we know it never does) and we feel weak in our personal Quiet Times with the Lord, and our personal worship, worship, as in our way of life, including the music, but not limited to it, just does not seem to be reaching the heart of the Lord. It feels like a famine of worship. For the past couple of weeks, I have been in one of those, and to be honest, it drives a soul insane to feel as if one is crying out to the Lord, and not "feeling" a response. Sunday, Amy and I visited a church here in Dallas and the pastor, Ed Young, Jr., spoke of feelings and how committments produce feelings, and feelings should not yield committments. This subject has been weighing my heart several hours, trying to discern how I seem to focus on how I feel or if I feel like my worship is genuine. I have prayed for the Lord to search my heart about its true passion to worship Him, and not to rest on the "feeling" of the Spirit inside of me-- only to trust that it is there and forever will conform me to the image of Christ. Yesterday, in the RAC (the on-campus gym) I was intending to jog a little on the treadmill; however, my batteries ran out of juice. Don't you hate that? I certainly do. So, a little on edge after a long weekend, I went to the weight machines. What made me think that I could lift weights, I have no idea. (Thank goodness no one but Amy was in there :)) As I moved around the machines, trying each one, I came to a leg press. Suddenly, I realized that music was playing over the loadspeaker in the room. I had noticed it before, yet not really paid much attention, with the intention of using my CD player. However, I had no choice but to listen and this time the music froze me. The song was "It Is Well," by Shane Barnard. I lay on the machine and closed my eyes, and listened. Suddenly, my heart welled up inside of me, as if I were going to burst and my souls stood still, weights on my legs, though I didnt notice, and the Spirit inside of me praised the Lord in heaven. It was a beautiful moment that I had missed. I missed the the overflowing joy of the Lord and the confidence in the power of the Spirit inside of me to reach the ears of the Father to praise him on my behalf. Today, I praise the lack of batteries and the divine appointment at the RAC. It is amazing how faithful He is to meet us where we are, even when we are not waiting for Him. Even when are minds are aggitated, even when we are busy, frustrated, torn, or tired. He seeks after us where we are, sometimes completely unexpected, and showers blessings of hope and joy.
Posted by erikascrimp at 13:34