4/19/2005

feels like a famine

If we are completely honest with ourselves, in our Christian walk, we go through dry spells when it feels that the Spirit has left us (although we know it never does) and we feel weak in our personal Quiet Times with the Lord, and our personal worship, worship, as in our way of life, including the music, but not limited to it, just does not seem to be reaching the heart of the Lord. It feels like a famine of worship. For the past couple of weeks, I have been in one of those, and to be honest, it drives a soul insane to feel as if one is crying out to the Lord, and not "feeling" a response. Sunday, Amy and I visited a church here in Dallas and the pastor, Ed Young, Jr., spoke of feelings and how committments produce feelings, and feelings should not yield committments. This subject has been weighing my heart several hours, trying to discern how I seem to focus on how I feel or if I feel like my worship is genuine. I have prayed for the Lord to search my heart about its true passion to worship Him, and not to rest on the "feeling" of the Spirit inside of me-- only to trust that it is there and forever will conform me to the image of Christ. Yesterday, in the RAC (the on-campus gym) I was intending to jog a little on the treadmill; however, my batteries ran out of juice. Don't you hate that? I certainly do. So, a little on edge after a long weekend, I went to the weight machines. What made me think that I could lift weights, I have no idea. (Thank goodness no one but Amy was in there :)) As I moved around the machines, trying each one, I came to a leg press. Suddenly, I realized that music was playing over the loadspeaker in the room. I had noticed it before, yet not really paid much attention, with the intention of using my CD player. However, I had no choice but to listen and this time the music froze me. The song was "It Is Well," by Shane Barnard. I lay on the machine and closed my eyes, and listened. Suddenly, my heart welled up inside of me, as if I were going to burst and my souls stood still, weights on my legs, though I didnt notice, and the Spirit inside of me praised the Lord in heaven. It was a beautiful moment that I had missed. I missed the the overflowing joy of the Lord and the confidence in the power of the Spirit inside of me to reach the ears of the Father to praise him on my behalf. Today, I praise the lack of batteries and the divine appointment at the RAC. It is amazing how faithful He is to meet us where we are, even when we are not waiting for Him. Even when are minds are aggitated, even when we are busy, frustrated, torn, or tired. He seeks after us where we are, sometimes completely unexpected, and showers blessings of hope and joy.

11 comments:

David said...

I was glad to see this post on your blog, mainly cause I remember you telling me about it before hand. By the way, you write really well, you got skills!

Maurice said...

Great post Erika! I love that song! Is God good or what? He knows when we need to hear things. :)

Trigun said...

Awesome stuff, EK. Keep on rockin'!

Jessica said...

Hi Erika, I found your blog through Maurice.
It is so true that God allows us to go through spiritual famines, and boy they are rough! But then when God breaks through with His love~ its amazing~just like you said!

Thanks for sharing and reminding me again of what it is like in this spiritual journey!

HerWryness said...

I'm here thru Maurice also.

You describe so well how it is when the Son shines in our hearts after a time of wanting. You may have been physically on the weight bench, but I suspect you were spiritually on your knees.

Thanks for sharing this with us.

Emily said...

Just a tip...take you last name off of your profile...us girls gotta be careful.. :)

Pilot Mom said...

Hi! I'm linking through Maurice. I find it so uplifting to see God's faithfulness in meeting us right where we are. Great post! I'll be back, for sure!

~Kat said...

I love that you have German dates on your posts. I speak a little and it took me a second to register that it wasn't English.

Wanna hear something funny? Sure you do. My batteries ran out of my mp3 player on the same day yours ran out. God was also telling me to run and talk to Him.

Seems like God was in the mood to drain batteries that day. :)

Thanks for sharing! Yeah yeah, I'm here from Crazy old Maurice, too.

Kim said...

I love this post Erika! Thanks for sharing with us. :)

fofinha said...

I found your blog through Maurice. I want to thank you for your very insightful words. I needed the reminder.

Mary K.

erikascrimp said...

huey- thanks for the constant encouragement!
maurice- its incredible that He speaks, even when we are unwilling to listen-- how great is our God!
Josh- how about those wings?
Jessica- you are so right! it is amazing how he speaks through our sorrow with songs of joy!
herwryness- definitely! their is an incredible power when we are on spiritually humble before the Lord. I like that term-- spiritually on our knees :)
emily-- thanks so much for the hint!! i appreciate it!
pilot mom- it is incredible how he seeks after us, great thoughts!
kat-- incredible about the batteries!! it is amazing the methods he uses o get out attention! How do you you know German??
kim-- hope to see you back soon! thanks!
fofinha- it is amazing how His truth inspired us! hope to see you back!