Jack and Chuck- at it again

If everyone followed Jack Bauer's orders, it wouldn't be called 24, it would be called 12.If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.Jack Bauer has the ability to smell sounds.Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.Jack Bauer doesn't wash his clothes. He tortures them until they're clean.The only reason you're conscious right now is because Jack Bauer doesn't want to carry you.While being 'put under' in the hospital, Jack Bauer can count backwards from 100 every time. This annoys the doctors.If you spell Jack Bauer in a Scrabble game, you win. Forever.Jack Bauer was once shot. The bullet was killed on impact.What color is Jack Bauer's blood? Trick question. Jack Bauer does not bleed.Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.